Re-Evaluating

I've been doing a bit of self evaluation the last day due to an experience in my Brit Lit class that effected me more than it probably should have. It really wasn't that big of a deal-but for the sake of everyone (but Liz who was there), here's how it happened-

We've been reading Pride and Prejudice and yesterday after having finished the book, our professor and TA lined a few of us up based on character traits we share with different people in the book, and I was brought up by the TA as Jane Bennett. *double take*. Jane? Jane's sweet. And completely innocent. And doesn't judge anyone, and she's shy and modest etc. etc. etc. I can see parts of myself in a few other Austen heroines but never Jane. For the obvious reason that I talk and she doesn't and I see her as being prettier than I see myself, and she doesn't judge others.

I'm probably taking the little exercise a little too seriously, but I've been thinking about Jane and, as a result, Elinor Dashwood from Sense and Sensibility today more than I've been paying attention in classes. I see Elinor as Jane version 2.0-she's still more reserved when it comes to how she feels, but she's witty. She judges others, but is able to forgive. She has a little more pluck, but she's still just as loyal to duty. In other words, I guess I've finally decided that even though I'm probably just as outspoken as Elizabeth is, my real hero is Elinor. All the die hard Pride and Prejudice fans will hate me for it, but Sense and Sensibility is officially my favorite book by Austen, and I think Elinor is a more valuable heroine, and a more dynamic heroine than Elizabeth is. Elizabeth is funny, and though she does undergo some change which makes her dynamic, I value Elinor's strength even more.

I suppose I could formulate this into an interesting essay someday-but for now, just know that I've been doing some self evaluation (if you care), and I'm posting in my blog when I don't have time (to please Liz :P), and I'm in love with my British Lit class, for finally doing what lit classes are supposed to do-Hold up that mirror to the reader and force you to see beyond the nice romance or the morbid revolution, or the entertaining comedy-and look back at yourself with the questions "So what? What have I learned from this, and how am I going to change?"

SHE LIVES!

The writer in me (and the Liz in me) is pretty upset that it's been almost a MONTH since I said anything. But trust me when I tell you that I've had very few spare moments open to write-and the spare moments I did have were either dedicated to sleep, or to the now religious watching of BBC's Robin Hood (curse them for not having season 2 until next October!). But I have returned, oh ye faithful readers-never fear.

So today has definitely been the complete reverse of a Jonah Day. Not only did I finally manage an A on a Brit Lit 291 test (her tests are beastly), but I finished my last paper/project for British Lit, I attended my last American Lit class (thank heaven), and I got officially accepted to my study abroad program. Could more things go right?! I suppose I could meet the man of my dreams but I think I'll be alright settling for a nap that I'm going to take later today when I get home from work. Furthermore-I'm not setting my alarm. I'm going to get up when I darn well please tonight. Talk about victory!

Alright, now on to business. My latest rant. Oh boy!

We were talking in (what else but my British Lit class) about the different kinds of love (again) in respect to Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. I have a fair amount of Marianne in me-anyone who has known me long enough would know this-but when it comes to love I am definitely more Elinor. I dream like Marianne, my reality is Elinor. Anyway-we were talking about how the book never really comes to a consensus on what kind of love (sensible, platonic love or romantic love with lots of feeling) is better. The novel clearly favors Elinor over Marianne, but in the end it is Marianne who marries the real hero (Brandon). Both girls have to take on the characteristics of each other in order to find their matches. In the end, I kind of came to the conclusion that the book promotes sense in order to fall in love (Elinor and Edward at the beginning of the book and Marianne's epiphany later), and sensibility in order to stay in love (the scene where Elinor reveals her love for Edward and the comment about Marianne never loving by halves). Whether or not there is any real truth to that, I don't know (having very little experience myself. And by very little I mean none). But I can see the merit in the idea-we need to have a bit of logic when it comes to choosing a partner. We can't not think about the important things (shared value system, for example) in favor of a spur of the moment romance. But romantic love is important too-it's what keeps a relationship full of the respect, admiration, and service needed to maintain a love.

Anyway. There it is. I'm off to go do something exciting and thoroughly NON school related to celebrate my end of term catharsis!