13 December 2007

Comedic Hyperbole

So we've come to the end of another semester at the Y, and with finals week ahead of me (and some major procrastination tonight as I decide not to study in utter rebellion), I've decided to make a list of things that would be preferable to finals week. (Note the potential sarcasm typhoon approaching).

1. Living with Delores Umbridge
2. Being locked in a room with Freddy Krueger
3. All the laughter in the world sounding like Sponge Bob's laugh.
4. Nails on a chalk board
5. The chorus to "Yellow Submarine" as a continual soundtrack to my life
6. Taking a Blast-Ended Skrewt for a walk.
7. A friendly cup of tea with Darth Vader
8. Kissing a boy with a combo of onion/garlic/booger/vomit breath (I'm assuming this one)
9. Having the "My Heart Will Go On" song play every time I see PDA on campus
10. Poison Ivy underwear
11. A cross-country road trip in July in a car without air conditioning or a radio, and only an awkward home teacher for company (and we would probably break down in Pine Bluffs, Wyoming. Haven't heard of it? No one else has either).
12. Being forced to watch "Charly" or any other rubbish/sappy movie for any amount of time (short or long).
13. Listening to my Bishop's chastity talk every Sunday in church.
14. Living with Frodo Baggins while under influence of the ring.
15. Having the voice in my head sound like a combination Dobby/Gollum/Smeagol
16. Having to listen to that boy in my English class who finds himself more clever than he really is project any louder than he already does.
17. Being forced to read any more descriptions in Twilight of how beautiful Edward is. Whine whine whine.
18. Every theater in Utah only performing Romeo and Juliet.
19. Hiking across the moors for eternity with Heathcliffe, Rochester, Willoughby, David Copperfield and every other stupid/brooding/angsty/slimey hero
20. Barney. Anything.

That being said, I am very happy to be done with my classes this semester and am definitely looking forward to a week at home with my dog, a pile of movies, and a stack of books to work through. It's going to be fabulous.


Dan the Echo Boomer said...

i would prefer to have to listen to cecil o samuelson with my eyes forced open than take finals.

hope you've been well. i got my call to tacoma washington, in case you were remotely interested.

Anonymous said...

Amazing. very amazing.

Joni said...


Congrats on the call, Dan :) I know two or three people who went to Tacoma. It's a nice little place. I love Washington state.

Side note: I think the best thing about this post was telling my mother about it in the grocery store over the phone and watching a lady eavesdrop on the conversation and just about die of laughter. Good to know random people find me amusing? I'm telling you: selective sarcasm is wonderful.

And I have one to add to the list: be forced to watch the last two episodes of Robin Hood again. They were HORRID. You don't kill off the female romantic lead!!